Radhika was in relationship with a person, who actually, at one point cheated on her and dumped her. But, she could not forget him and used to wait for his call the whole day. She knew that he did not like her anymore but still fantasise being with him, repeatedly checking his previous messages. Because of this, she was unable to concentrate on her job well and also declined any marriage proposal that came her way.

Radhika is under a denial phase wherein, she is unable to accept her position and is yearning for something that she might not get.

  • Radhika should accept the fact and come out of the denial phase
    • She should accept that her past relationship has ended and should not cling onto it.
  • She should talk it out to her friends and parents
  • If Radhika feels that she is unable to forget him, she should write down few hobbies or things that could distract her
    • It could be as simple as enrolling in a gym or some course
    • Though she would not be interested she should enroll in these activities which would distract her.
  • If checking phone becomes problematic, she should switch off relevant notifications from social groups or delete messages from him
    • She had previous messages of him which she was unable to delete and used to constantly see them. She can always take help of a friend and ask her to delete the messages. This is a hoarding behavior where in a person would collect all old material or things or messages and is unable to let go off them. Realise it is important to let go off messages which contain no meaning now as the relationship is done.
  • Life does not end with one person
    • Human being is a social animal and just one person does not constitute our life. We need to realise that there is life beyond rejection. moveon
  • Do not overgeneralise
    • Just because one person has rejected and cheated on Radhika, she should not believe that everyone will do so. She should realise that every person is different and be open for new relationships.
  • Do not believe that no one likes you
    • One person not liking you does not mean everyone hates you. Do not form that opinion. One person does not constitute society.
    • There would be people who would love you no matter what.
  • If you have not talked to your past relationship openly regarding breaking or not confronted him, then do it
    • Ask him the reasons and question him if you have not done. Vent out your feelings to him and let him know how bad it feels.
    • Do not keep all questions and all feelings to yourself and keep feeling bad. It is okay if your words are hurting but let the other person know and realise how terrible a thing they have done to you.
    • Venting out your feelings would lessen the burden that you are carrying a lot.

If still you are unable to forget and life has become very dull, seek professional opinion at any point of time to make life better.

Life is about living in spite of all the odds.


In Telugu

He alone is not worth your entire life!

Dr Jyothirmayi is a Psychiatrist

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *