A 19 year old girl, Pavani was spending hours on phone, during late nights, chatting with her boy friend. After a few months, they started to live-in together. Pavani’s parents were not aware of the situation. They thought that their daughter was staying in a hostel and continued to send money for her studies and other expenses. One day, they got a phone call that she had attempted suicide. They were distraught and later came to know about Pavan’s live-in partner and that he had another relationship. Pavani could not tolerate the stress and had attempted suicide.

What made Pavani to take such an extreme step and how an attempted suicide could have been prevented?

This is what can be done to  –

  • Pavani has to first respect the confidence that her parents placed in her and the hard work they have been doing to procure money to get her studies finished.
    1. She should not be lying and hiding facts from them.
  • Pavani should realize that she should perform her duties first before indulging in other attachments.
    1. Her first priority should have been concentrating on her studies if that was of her original interest.
  • She should realize that attractions are common in this age and she has to draw a line
    1. It is abnormal not to get attracted to the opposite sex in this age group. People do get attracted to each other.
    2. But they should know where to draw borders and not to go overboard by crossing cultural norms and keeping parents unaware of situations.
  • Parents should follow up with daughter’s activities once a while instead of blind trust
    1. It is not wrong to trust your daughter but considering the situations one needs to keep a track of her activities and expenses when they are living away from home.
  • Parents should openly talk about such relationships with children
    1. The open talk is very rare in our society; so children tend to hide facts.
    2. It is better for parents to be open and speak up with their daughters about attractions in college and how they can open up with them if they are in any relationship.
  • Pavani should not place her entire hope and future with her boyfriend
      1. It so happened that Pavani thought that her boyfriend was her entire life. Statements like these should be avoided.
  • Realise that every person is replaceable and do not place your entire life in the hands of one single person.


  • Pavani should have spoken to her parents or friends when her trust was betrayed.
    1. Realize that there are other people who are ready to help you in times of distress.
    2. Do not think that parents would scold you and try to end life. Parents’ anger is temporary and it is always for your good.
  • Do not punish yourself for other person’s mistakes
    1. If Pavani’s boyfriend cheated on her, she should find ways to punish him instead of self-harm.
  • If things go beyond control, Pavani could have anytime availed the advice of mental health professionals before taking the ultimate step.

Article in Telugu


Dr Jyothirmayi is a Psychiatrist

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