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Aruna had left her job after the delivery of her first baby. She had devoted her whole time taking care of the house and baby. Her baby was 9 months old when a friend of hers asked her “Hey, how is the baby and what are you doing?” She said “Well I’m taking care of the baby”. Her friend asked “And what else are you doing, nothing?”

This question arising not only from her friend but also from many others irked Aruna quite a number of times. Is her decision to be a stay-at-home mom wrong? Is she inferior to other working moms? She felt depressed and irritated and was not at peace with herself.

The most underappreciated job is that of a parent; worse for mothers who are not working and looking after their kids full-time. They are isolated and never appreciated.

TIPS IN GENERAL FOR EVERYONE TO SUPPORT THEM

  1. Appreciate stay-at-home mothers –  The commencement of modern era does not change the fact that mother’s love is very important for a child’s growth.

Say to any mother you meet who had left her job or opted not to work for the sake of taking care of her baby – “Your child will one day reap the fruits of your dedication you are giving to him. You are doing a wonderful job. Keep going!”

A word of appreciation would lighten up the mother.

  1. Never criticise or look down upon them – This especially holds good for all husbands.

You should under no circumstances look down upon stay-at-home moms or compare them to their working female colleagues with kids. This will make her feel inferior and sad.

  1. Acknowledge that the decision she took is not an easy one. 

It is not easy for a woman to decide to stay at home because she is equally or more educated than her husband and the decision to have a break in her career is a big one.

She needs a lot of support for such a decision.

  1. Women should have their personal space/ Do not overburden yourself

Do not overburden yourself with lots of work. Stay-at-home mom does not mean you are a cook, maid, cleaner etc. If it is getting difficult for you, do not hesitate to get help.

Hire a maid if needed to help you with other chores. The fact that you are not earning more does not mean you have to do all the works by yourself. If needed, do not hesitate. Your health is important. You are already in some sense earning more than an average husband. Refer to this statistic below.

stay-at-home-mom_salary

  1. Ask the woman her decision

Every husband should be able to ask his wife before planning for kids about her comfort level to work or not to work after delivery. This would lessen many conflicts.

Husbands should be open to women who opt not to work and take a break after childbirth and not force her to work.

  1. There is no more happiness on earth than kids enjoying time with parents

Understand the fact that the decision to stay at home is a wonderful decision for the child and there is nothing more a mother can give to a child than her time.

  1. Stop seeing working women as more powerful than stay -at-home moms

It is a subjective decision to work or not work. It does not mean a person is less productive or more productive. Earning money does not make a person more powerful. Having your children listen to you and love you makes you more powerful.

  1. Taking a break from work does not mean going against women’s rights.

Nature has its own rules and we cannot go against them. Only a woman can bear and give birth to kids.

A mother’s role is very crucial for the upbringing of a child.

  1. A temporary break does not mean permanent break

A woman can always choose to join back to work once she is comfortable with the child taking care of himself.

Do not assume a temporary break to be a permanent break and get depressed. 

To get to work, there are several means. Here is a novel initiative from a friend: getflexijobs.com

GetFlexiJobs_Friend

  1. Happy mothers lead to happy children.

Let us make all mothers happy, be it stay-at-home or working so that the children are happy as well, leading to happy families.


Here is the translation in Telugu.

Link to Andhrajyothy Page where the article is published
Link to Andhrajyothy Page where the article is published

 

Dr Jyothirmayi is a Psychiatrist

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